Me: "You should write thank-you notes to the two people you've stayed with most recently. Here's some stationery."
T: "I can't write them because it would be too disrespectful to how important they are in my life to just write two lines on a card. And besides, I have to watch Hannibal."
Me: "You should write thank-you letters to those two people, make the letters as long and detailed as you like. Here are their addresses."
T: "I can't write them because my best friend is breaking up with me as their S.O. is jealous of our sometimes-hot-and-heavy friendship. I also have to pack, another friend is letting me live at their house. And besides, I have to watch Hannibal."
(To be continued. Check back next week.)